Tuesday, April 19, 2016

My Pursuit of Dreams

When I was small (even until my middle school time), I never knew what I wanted to be in the future. I never got to choose my favorite school. All I knew was that my mom's choice would always be the best choice for me. And yeah, that's true tho. If she didn't pick the best ones for me, I wouldn't experience studying at the best schools in my hometown. I kept being "dependent" until one day I faced a very difficult situation: family financial crisis that made me urgently choosing either to continue my study to degree level (but I have to get scholarship) or working as a low paid government officer. This tough dilemma made me wondering if only I had enough money to pay for my university tuition fee, it wouldn't be this hard. Therefore I prayed to God to make me a business woman one day. However, as I grow up I furnished this dream of mine to be "A generous business woman" (Aaamiin).

Things got better when I got scholarship to study in Malaysia, hence Mom could save money to concentrate on developing her business. Her tough life experience has been shaping her ideas about perfect profession. I think a lot of parents out there prefer their children to have a job which provides stable income, so does my Mom. She always wants me to become a loyal employer who has a stiff work schedule, like becoming a government officer. Pension fund is one of the greatest reason why she wants me to do so. Therefore, during my study she always reminded me about one thing, "I don't mind if you love drawing or singing and having fun treasuring on your hobbies. But I dislike the idea of you being an artist in the future."

Art took a special position in my life when I was studying my degree in Real Estate Management. During class projects, I did more designing stuffs than calculating the value of properties. I got involved in several art communities rather than browsing about current real estate issues in Malaysia. However I tried to maintain my academic performance. I also experienced doing my internship program in one of the most renowned real estate consultancy company in Malaysia. 

 My roles as  aproject director in ERTI was one of the most memorable moment in my life

Well, it's never easy for me to tell Mom about my own version of great profession. Every person defines success differently. In her opinion, being a millionaire and working in an office is a dream job. For me who prefer works in active mobility, sitting in front of PC is definitely a boring job. I feel more driven when I do something that requires me to move my body freely, think creatively, and meet a lot of new people. But one thing that is a bit impossible for me to realize is I don't want to be anybody's employee, I wanna be a leader. These got me a lot to think, like A LOT. LOL

After graduated from UM I came back to that long and quite stressful self talking (again). Perhaps, many of people in their 20's will know how it feels. Gosh, I swear I hate this period of contemplation. Believe or not, I lost almost 10 kg last year (Should I be happy? LOL). At that very moment I also "lost" some friends. They were not exactly gone, but they were also trying to discover their own path. No body would like to be bothered during this period.
I had several options back then; continuing my master study, working in Real Estate Company in Dubai (my dream place), or building my own company. Before I decided what to do, I must make sure that whatever my choice is, that will take me to a happy life journey. Also, whatever my future job is, I must give great impact to my society. 

Proceed My Master Study
In my opinion, decision can only be made when we are able to see a long term impact of that decision in our life and our capacity to strive for it. Master study is not my No. 1 dream because I am not an academic kinda person. And I believed that without master degree anyone can get a good job. But I think, if only my late dad didn't get his bachelor degree, I wouldn't be much empowered to get higher education qualification. I wanna be like him, I wanna be a good example for my kids too! Moreover, education is always the best long term investment. Therefore, the next step that I set in pursuing this dream is to GET SCHOLARSHIP.

Working in Real Estate Company in Dubai
A lecturer of mine once introduced me to this guy who works in one of Dubai's prestigious real estate company. I don't know why, but I have this unique feeling about this City that made me writing its name in my dream book. Real Estate business in Dubai is exceptionally incredible. I was thinking if perhaps my degree can help me to generate capital which I can use for future business in Indonesia. 

Building My Own Company

Okay, this is the most challenging life choice that I could ever take. I love challenges, BUT what kinda business could I run? I am just an ordinary fresh grad with no money. After finishing my internship program, I had nothing to do. So I received some orders from some friends who wants to make customized business card with portrait drawing. Then I continued to draw Bangka Belitung postcards and sold them at the souvenir shops. I enjoy this job more than doing real estate project LOL. To enhance my skill, I learned graphic design at the very first time by the help of a friend. I could make some money out of it. Amazingly I couldn't stop creatively thinking about the next product innovation that I could create. But you know what? Mom asked me,"Do you really wanna waste your degree?" And I was like *^%&*^*$%^%$#

God, am I doing the right thing? What dream should I pursue first and which dream offers bigger deal over others? Again, I'm confused. Perhaps, some other people have the same problem too: knowing their dreams, but don't know how to achieve them. What I did was listening to people's opinion. Some said that doing our most passionate things will make the greatest decision while others said oppositely. They gave me new helpful insights. Eventhough as the result I decided to do those 3 things at the same time hahaha.

It was like gambling, but I keep forward. I believe that the red line will definitely come out of these complicated life story. I applied scholarship for master degree to reach my dream as an educated Mom for my children and to become future empowering "teacher" for my society. I continue doing my start-up business called Cikart and alhamdulillah things get better (I could hire some people to help me doing this small business). On the other hand, I tried to look for job in real estate firms including the one in Dubai. The result (not really the final one) was extremely exciting. Maybe God slowly answers my prayer to become a generous business woman. He didn't make me an employee at any real estate firms. Despites with my Mom's help (who at first disagreed with my life choice) I could make Cikart slightly bigger than what I've imagined. And as a bonus, I was awarded a full scholarship for MSc. in Entrepreneurship, Innovation, and Management in Nottingham University. 

It's not the end of my dream achieving story, yet it is the very beginning. LIFE IS BEAUTIFUL, isn't it? 


  1. Great art on Cikart tyas! Cool!

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  3. really inspiring me, thank you, keep writting please and share positive power of your experience.